Updates on the Brain Drain

So Ford definitely has a large clot in one of the major veins in his head (can't remember the name of it at the moment, running on 2 days of almost no sleep). Along with the clot there is evidence of bleeding in his brain around the vein, but we're not yet sure how extensive this is. We haven't yet got a detailed report from neurology regarding the CT scan earlier today, and we are anxiously waiting for news of how serious this event was. Cardiology came by to let us know that from their perspective (they looked at his heart circulation during the CT as well) everything is basically as they expect it to be, that the concern of another clot in his superior vena cava was a false alarm. phew, i guess.

Rounds this morning were amazing. They tried to keep us out but Christa very curtly told them to F-off and let us in (although not in so many words). I've never seen so many people around his bed.. in fact there were so many that they filled most of the room, a room with like 8 patient beds in it. And all these doctors were shouting over each other and calling out suggestions and pushing up to try and see him, while x ray carts, and IV trolleys, and Echo machines where being wheeled in and out. It was all a bit overwhelming.

So the trick now is to treat the clot without aggravating the bleeding, but the only treatment for clots are anti-coagulants, which are known to cause bleeding. Hematology spent a good 10 minutes repeating to us that this approach was "a really fine balance" (literally, they just kept saying that over and over again.. very annoying). The danger being that if the clot gets any bigger it could trigger extensive brain damage, but if in treating the clot they prompt the bleeding to spread there will also be extensive brain damage... So we are hoping that this balance can be achieved and maintained, while feeling the acute pressure of being caught between a rock and a hard place.

At the moment Ford is totally stoned. He was bombarded with sedatives this morning to counter the seizures, and has had continuous doses throughout the day to keep him comfortable through all the tests. But now they want to know if he will wake up and show signs of neurological impairment, and he won't because he's been so aggressively beaten up with drugs. There were glimmers of life earlier when he tried half heartedly to pull out his breathing tube (prompting more sedation), and we are told to be reassured by his level of awareness during the seizures (he didn't lose consciousness and was able to track movement with his eyes and grab with his left hand while his right side was trembling). So perhaps for the moment he is still mostly there, but the next few days will be pretty critical in terms of watching how the clot respond to the drugs and keeping the bleeding contained. He is back in fragile condition and we are feeling a stunning bewilderment in the face of how quickly things went wrong.

Walking around the hospital was so utterly jarring today. We've gotten to know so many people here, and their usually friendly faces were all so grim and compassionate. I've never had my shoulder touched so many times in so few hours.. I hope I don't catch swine flu.